Some Notes:

The English language has no gender-neutral pronouns. So when the words man, he, him, etc are used, they mean "Generic human being" unless the context specifically says otherwise. Only women get words devoted just to them.

Thou, Thee, and Thine are singular pronouns. You and Your are plural in the 16th Century English the King James Bible was translated into. This actually makes the message clearer than our habit of using "you" as both a singular and a plural.

In many scriptures I have changed the King James (English) spelling to American spelling (labour=labor, for example. I understand those in England still spell it with a u). Also, in some scriptures I have changed the "-eth" to a simple "s." Spelling standards weren't set in English until the mid 1800's, well after the translating of the KJV. So I see no problem with making these simple changes that don't affect the meaning of the scripture but make it easier for our modern mouths and ears to deal with.

Romans 1

This Letter to the Roman Church was written by the Apostle Paul. He was planning a trip there. He did eventually arrive in Rome, but as a prisoner of the government. But the Bible tells us he was allowed to welcome people into his home, and so taught very many after his arrival, even though he was on house arrest.

 Greetings to the Saints in Rome

1 Paul, a servant of Jesus Christ, called to be an apostle, separated unto the gospel of God, 

2 (Which He had promised before by His prophets in the holy scriptures,) 

3 Concerning his Son Jesus Christ our Lord, which was made of the seed of David according to the flesh; 

4 And declared to be the Son of God with power, according to the spirit of holiness, by the resurrection from the dead:  

Jesus proved He was the Messiah, the Son of God, the "Branch of David" by rising from the dead.

5 By whom we have received grace and apostleship, for obedience to the faith among all nations, for His name:  

Those who obey Christ receive grace from God.

6 Among whom are ye also the called of Jesus Christ:

"You are serving the same God I am."

7 To all that be in Rome, beloved of God, called to be saints: Grace to you and peace from God our Father, and the Lord Jesus Christ.

This is the greetings part of the letter, the "Dear ____"

Paul's Desire to Visit Rome

8 First, I thank my God through Jesus Christ for you all, that your faith is spoken of throughout the whole world. 

Evidently the faith of those in the church in Rome was so strong it was talked about all over the Empire.

9For God is my witness, whom I serve with my spirit in the gospel of His Son, that without ceasing I make mention of you always in my prayers;  

Paul prayed for them daily. And with good reason. Nero is likely Emperor at this time and he hated Christians with a passion.

10 Making request, if by any means now at length I might have a prosperous journey by the will of God to come unto you.  

11 For I long to see you, that I may impart unto you some spiritual gift, to the end ye may be established;  

12 That is, that I may be comforted together with you by the mutual faith both of you and me. 

Paul wanted to visit them so he could teach them and be strengthened in his own faith by them.

13 Now I would not have you ignorant, brethren, that oftentimes I purposed to come unto you, (but was let hitherto,) that I might have some fruit among you also, even as among other Gentiles.  

14 I am debtor both to the Greeks, and to the Barbarians; both to the wise, and to the unwise.  

15 So, as much as in me is, I am ready to preach the gospel to you that are at Rome also.

I am Not Ashamed of the Gospel

16 For I am not ashamed of the gospel of Christ: for it is the power of God unto salvation to every one that believes; to the Jew first, and also to the Greek. 

Paul had no shame in preaching the Gospel, because there was no where else for people to find salvation. That salvation was offered to the Jews first, then the Gentiles. In fact, every time Paul went to a new city he began his preaching in the local Jewish synagogue, then spread out to the gentiles.

17 For therein is the righteousness of God revealed from faith to faith: as it is written, "The just shall live by faith."

This is a quote of Habakkuk 2:4

God's Wrath against Sin

18 For the wrath of God is revealed from heaven against all ungodliness and unrighteousness of men, who hold the truth in unrighteousness; 

It makes God angry when people despise righteousness and pursue what is evil.

19 Because that which may be known of God is manifest in them; for God hath shewed it unto them. 

God has shown His Truth to everyone, if in no other way then in the glory of Creation. No one has an excuse.

20 For the invisible things of Him from the creation of the world are clearly seen, being understood by the things that are made, even His eternal power and Godhead; so that they are without excuse:  

God is love, AND God is justice. It is His wish for everyone to be saved. So, He has designed Creation in such a way that it speaks to the heart of every human being at some time in their life. Everyone has the chance to accept God. No one can say, "Hell is unjust because I never had the chance."

21 Because that, when they knew God, they glorified Him not as God, neither were thankful; but became vain in their imaginations, and their foolish heart was darkened.  

Because a person sees God's glory, yet chooses to not acknowledge Him, not serve Him or thank Him for His goodness and glory, his heart goes dark. Anytime you remove the Light, things get dark.

"Vain" means empty and shapeless. This is what happens to the imagination of those who choose to remove God from their heart.

Does this sound like Hollywood today to anyone else?

22 Professing themselves to be wise, they became fools,  

Those without God think they are wise and scoff at anyone who believes. But the truth is, they are the ones who are being stupid.

23 And changed the glory of the incorruptible God into an image made like to corruptible man, and to birds, and four-footed beasts, and creeping things. 

Nature abhors a vacuum. People can't believe there is no God for very long. If they choose to deny Him, they begin to substitute animals and other things of nature. In ancient times they set up actual statues to worship. Today we call this "Environmentalism."

24 Wherefore God also gave them up to uncleanness through the lusts of their own hearts, to dishonor their own bodies between themselves: 

This is speaking of homosexuality as well as general promiscuity. It is a dishonor to the human body to use it any way except how God designed it. He designed us to be in happy, monogamous relationships for life.

25 Who changed the truth of God into a lie, and worshiped and served the creature more than the Creator, who is blessed for ever. Amen. "Worshiping the creature more than the Creator" includes not just animal and sun/moon worship, but worshiping our own bodies, celebrities, entertainment, leisure, science, and politics.

26 For this cause God gave them up unto vile affections: for even their women did change the natural use into tha
t which is against nature:  

 Homosexuality, hatred of children, and many, many other problems we face are not actually the cause of our cultural problems, but the result of a wholesale denial of God. He lets us get stupid when we deny Him.

27And likewise also the men, leaving the natural use of the woman, burned in their lust one toward another; men with men working that which is unseemly, and receiving in themselves that recompence of their error which was meet. 

The Message Bible:
Worse followed. Refusing to know God, they soon didn't know how to be human either- women didn't know how to be women, men didn't know how to be men. Sexually confused, they abused and defiled one another, women with women, men with men- all lust, no love. And then they paid for it, oh, how they paid for it- emptied of God and love, godless and loveless wretches.

28And even as they did not like to retain God in their knowledge, God gave them over to a reprobate mind, to do those things which are not convenient;  

Other translations say "...indecent things" or "...things which are not fitting."

29 Being filled with all unrighteousness, misuse of sex, being evil and morally wrong, wanting to take away the property of others, intending to do harm, full of envy, murder, arguing, deceit,
speaking about others in a spiteful critical manner, gossips,  

30 Backbiters, haters of God, despiteful, proud, boasters, inventors of evil things, disobedient to parents,  

31 Without understanding, promise-breakers, without natural affection, unsatisfiable, unmerciful:  
32 Who knowing the judgment of God, that they which commit such things are worthy of death, not only do the same, but have pleasure in them that do them.